Referral

Oh gosh, I am so in love with my sweet little girl. Still can't believe she is mine!!!!

Here is how it all went down....

The week or two leading up to our referral day I had started to get real impatient and feeling down about the wait. That is the way it had been over the past three years or so. Some weeks are worse than others. Anyway, Ron was just the opposite. He "just knew" that things were right around the corner. He predicted that we would get a referral on my brothers birthday.... he was only off by two days! It is strange that Ron, Adrian, and I had dreams about receiving a referral over the course of a couple of weeks before we got the call. I woke from my referral dream the morning Eden's paperwork arrived at our agency. So weird.

Wednesday morning was like every other... rushing to get the boys out the door and me to school. I had switched one of my classes so that I could leave a bit earlier than usual. I had a funeral to attend. My sixth grade class is busy working on their assignment when I hear my cell phone ring. Didn't recognize the number but that had happened numerous times. Plus I had set my phone to ring a special ring if my agency called. Well, turns out it was my agency... they had called from another extension so my special ring didn't go off. The conversation went like this...

Social Worker- Hello Amiee????
Me- Yes.
Social Worker- This is J_____ from AIAA. How are you?
Me- Good... I think???? Remain calm, could be just calling to check in, remain calm, remain calm
Social Worker- This is the call you have been waiting for.
Me- Oh my God. Something unintelligible, crying noises
Social Worker- Are you okay???
Me- I can't believe it. More crying
Social Worker- Well, I am staring at a picture of an adorable little girl here.
Me- Lots more hysterical crying. Choked out... What can you tell me about her?

The rest is kind of a blur.

I am madly trying to scribble down what info she gives me. I just can't believe it is happening!

Social Worker- I know you are at work but I can meet with you around 4:00 or if that doesn't work, I can meet with you tomorrow.
Me- No. We are meeting you now. Let me call my husband and we will be on our way.

I hang up and start dialing Ron's number and... my phone dies. Perfect. After a few minutes I remember that I have a phone in my classroom. :) I have to dial a few times because I'm shaking and not thinking clearly. Of course, I get his voice mail. I try calling his desk phone... voice mail. I try having some one page him at work... nothing. I am leaving messages like... "Hi, please call me as soon as you get this message... and call me at work because my phone died... I don't know the number... look it up on the internet." I realize that my sixth graders are now lined up at the door and my next class is on their way in. The teacher dropping the kids off looks at me and asks if I am alright. I blurt everything out to her... she doesn't even know we are adopting... and she gives me a big hug. Over the next 40 minutes I keep trying to get a hold of Ron but no luck. I cancel my next class and am out the door. I am now driving home... I probably shouldn't be driving. I feel like I am going to throw up. I get home and try calling him again. Finally I get in touch and I tell him that our agency called! He responds with... "I knew it!" He tells me he is leaving work and will meet me at home. I call a few family members to fill them in on the news. Everyone is shocked and doesn't know what I am talking about at first! While waiting for Ron to get home I frantically post online that we got the call and send my friend Lynn (who is in China) an email. Ron arrives, we grab our camera, and we are out the door. The only thing I am feeling at this point is disbelief... like the whole thing is a dream... that and I still felt like I am going to throw up. My emotions are strangely connected to my stomach. We arrive at the agency and we are greeted by the secretary and our social worker. The secretary can tell from our excitement that we are there for a referral. Our social worker tells her that we have waited a very long time for this. We sit for a few minutes while she gathers her things and I stare at the wall of pictures of children who have joined their families with the help of our agency. What will my daughter look like? We walk into a small conference room and our social worker asks what we want to see first... her file or the pictures. We are speechless. She says... let's do pictures... and she starts laying them on the table in front of us. Again, is this really happening??? My daughter... right there before my eyes... so beautiful... what adorable crazy hair... she has dimples when she smiles... she looks so happy... oh, chubby cheeks... she has a "chew chew"...breathe... I love her crazy hair... cuter that I ever dreamed... breathe... my baby... my little girl. It is silent for a while as we just take it all in. More crying. Our social worker takes our picture.

Next, our social worker takes out our daughter's file and starts to read it as we follow along looking at our copy. Over the next few minutes I hear our daughter's story... the circumstances that arose which lead this precious child to have her pictures sitting in an office building half way around the world. We also learn about her health history, eating and sleeping habits, read a bit about her foster family, and some notes on her overall development. All the while I can't take my eyes off the pictures that are still sprawled out all over the table.... her legs are chubby, beautiful eyes, the boys will love her hair. We are now getting directions on how to fill out the pile of forms we need to take home. Trying hard to concentrate... trying to focus... this is important... feeling out of body. We hug our social worker goodbye and thank everyone in the office over and over.

We leave the office and I stop and show the first person I see... pictures of my baby. We drive directly to our doctor's office to have him review her file. We are required to have a doctor look at the file before we can accept it. I drop it off and we start driving home. We call Ron's family and tell them the good news. So happy. We arrive home and head to the bus stop to get the boys. We come into the house and I tell the boys that we have some very good news. Luca thinks Nonna called... I tell him that it is even better. His next guess is that Uncle Tommy called. Adrian says that he thinks he knows. He is right... they called about Eden. Luca giggles and becomes excited. He thinks that she is actually at our house. He his disappointed she is not. I take the pictures out and show the boys. They smile and laugh as they look at their new sister. Luca says something about how he thought she would have black hair and I have to point out that she is wearing a hat. He is happy after that. We all go to my parents house for dinner and to share our pictures with them and my sister's family. My parents give us a beautiful bouquet of pink flowers.

They all stand together as I open the little photo album.

We eat dinner... which is the first thing I have eaten all day... and I tell everyone the play by play of the events of the day. My sister tells me that I won't sleep a wink... I already know that won't be a problem. I am now so emotionally exhausted that I could pass out. We get home, I post what I can on the internet and collapse into bed. I wake up around 5:45. Was it all a dream??? No, there is her little face looking back at me from the nightstand. Now I can't fall back to sleep and the nausea is back. For the first time though in a long long time it's easy to get out of bed. Easy to start my day. Easy to go to work. I am so in love. Just kind of floating. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't focus... could spend hours staring at her picture. Our doctor calls and tells us that she looks "perfect" and he is very impressed with the amount of information her file contained. I call our agency and formally accept the referral for Sei-in. Spend most of the day filling out the required paperwork and gathering documents needed to bring her home to us. I need to get everything done... Ron leaves for Italy in the morning and he needs to sign everything before he leaves. Finally everything is done and we meet a friend who is a notary to have her put the seals and stamps on them. Due to our time crunch, I have to meet her at a school carnival where she is volunteering... yes a carnival. Here I am sitting in the grass with my hugely important papers, trying not to have any of them blow away, in the midst of a carnival. Sooooo me.

We get everything signed and sealed and I head home. My neighbor friend stops by to see pictures of our girl. Starting to feel tired again... ready to collapse again. Think I'll just write one quick post on my blog. :)