Monday, January 10

What happened next...

After we left our visit with our sweetie we drove back to the SWS guesthouse. We visited the reception center where Eden lived for the first three months of her life. I will post some video of that soon too. We then went across the street for dinner. The food was good but not as good as the meal we had in Insadong. We then went back to our room and I did some cleaning. I even borrowed the vacuum cleaner! I set everything up for bringing Eden back to our room the following afternoon. I remember not sleeping well that night. I was excited to finally get getting our sweet girl, but more I was nervous and saddened by what I knew would be a painful day for Eden and her foster family.

The next day we went to the SWS office building and we caught a glimpse of Eden and her foster mother as they entered the doctor's office for Eden's last check up. We then went upstairs and waited in the room with the yellow couch. This is the same room where Eden (and most SWS babies) have their referral pictures taken... Mickey Mouse wallpaper, yellow couch, big cream bear, Pororo airplane toy. Not too much later, Eden and her foster mother arrived. She handed us Eden and must have left to do some paperwork. We took some video and then she returned. We all played together until the SWS worker was ready. I treasure those moments. As I sat on the floor with Eden and her foster mother I remember praying somehow, someway Eden would remember all of us together playing. We signed some paperwork and spent a great deal of time going over the contents of bag after bag of items from SWS and Eden's foster mother. We needn't bring anything with us to Korea... they gave us enough supplies to last us for a week! :0) It is a very good thing we had brought an empty suitcase with us for everything.. and even that wasn't enough. We also talked about her schedule and Eden's foster mother answered some questions. I have video of her singing a song she would sing to her when she was putting her to sleep. I have posted before about the last moments before leaving SWS with our daughter. It all happened so quickly and it was very very sad. After we left the office we walked back to the guesthouse. We brought Eden up to our room and just kind of hung out for a while. Already she was like glue and I couldn't set her down for a minute. She cried pretty hard for about an hour and finally fell asleep on top of me. We both napped for about an hour or so. She was alright when she woke... no crying. We had some dinner... Ron got Domino Pizza and we made some rice for Eden. She made quite a mess so we tried giving her a bath. That was a no go. She freaked out. She cried for a little while again and then fell asleep on me. She didn't wake when I put her in bed next to me and slept through the night. We had to wake her up in the morning to catch a ride to the airport the next morning. More to come!

Tuesday, January 4

One Year Ago

One year ago today I met my sweet little girl.

I had plans of posting pictures and writing about each day of our trip... but we have had one illness after another at our house and I have not had the time or energy. I also plan on writing about Christmas... oh, I am so behind.

This video will have to do...

Thursday, December 16

One year ago the phone rang...

and we got our travel call!!!! The call came sooner than expected as we were told the wait for travel would be around four months from referral. The call came in the later part of the morning while I was at work. How I managed to keep it together I will never know.

After the kids went to bed we spent several hours figuring out our travel plans. We had to work around Ron's work schedule, Christmas, and my nieces baptism... not to mention crazy prices for flights. It was so stressful because I was ready to just hop on the next flight! It is a very good thing that there were so many events to keep me busy until our departure day... January 1st.

Sunday, December 5

20 Months Old

Eden turned 20 months old on Friday.

Two nights ago Ron and I found ourselves laughing out loud as we lay in bed recalling all of the funny things Eden has been doing lately. She is a funny girl. Her newest and funniest thing she is doing lately is pretending to walk into something and say, "Uhhhh" with this strange inflection... over and over again... to make you laugh. She is putting on a little show.

Another super cute things she does is.... She will throw her typical freak out when she wants something screeching, fake crying, stomping her feet. We will then ask, "What do you want?" She will immediately stop and in the most girlie sweetest softest voice say, "dink." (drink) The way she says it is just so sweet and cute... so the opposite of what she was doing just seconds before.

More good stuff...

* She totally knows what, "What do you want?" means. WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!

* She is saying too may words to list anymore!

* She is still into Elmo and we have added two new Elmo movies to our collection. She knows the Sesame Street logo too. Today while at church there was a Sesame Street book face down with only some words and the logo showing. As soon as she saw it she said, "Elmo!" She also recognizes Christmas carols from her Elmo Christmas movie when she hears them on the radio. If one comes on she will say "Elmo!"

* She has a new nickname... The Claw. She scratches. Sometimes she will scratch other kids if she thinks that someone will take her toy. Sometimes she scratches if a child has a toy she wants. And sometimes she will scratch for no reason at all. She has drawn blood. I now have to be vigilant in keeping her nails trimmed down to nothing. I have mentioned before how much she enjoys getting her nails cut. Ugh. Can't wait till this phase passes.

* So far Christmas is a hit. She likes this waaayyyy better than Halloween. She loves the decorations, music, and cookies. We decided not to put our tall tree up in our family room this year because I figured I would find her 1/2 way up the tree one day. Instead we removed our chandelier in our dining room, took the furniture out and now it just holds our smaller Christmas tree and some decorations. She loves to go in there and look at the tree and stuffed animals. She was napping when I put the tree up. When she came downstairs the first thing she said was "Wow."

* Ron's parents came in from New York to celebrate Christmas with us. Eden unwrapped her first Christmas present. It didn't take long for her to figure out what to do. She was into it!

* Eden is now outgrowing most of her 12-18 month clothes. I hate that she can no longer wear some of my favorites. Good thing I have my two little nieces to pass her things on to.

* She calls all babies "Mia."

* She has the WORLD CUTEST run. Tippy toe, bouncy, happy little baby run.

I love this little girl so much!!!! She is just so precious. I love seeing her personality come through. We may have another class clown on our hands!!!!!

Wednesday, December 1

Tuesday, November 23

Another Step Forward in Attachment

Yesterday I had an appointment after work but needed to stop home real quick before leaving for my appointment. My in-laws were in town and were watching Eden. When I walked in I was greeted with a screaming, running, smiling, sweet hello. She was so happy to see me. :) I gave her a quick hug and then turned to leave. Well... then the tears came. "Maaamaaaaa... Maaaamaaaaa!" This was a first! I thought that maybe it was a fluke... but then this morning she cried for me again as I left for work. Same sad, "Mama"... with real crocodile tears.

Although I really hate leaving her upset (she calmed down with her favorite distraction... food) and it breaks my heart to leave her.... I can't help but smile. See... up until now she hasn't shown a real preference towards me. She seems to tolerate me and seems to like me alright... but nothing more than that. She let me into hear world, but not into her heart. I felt like she knew I would meet her needs and was a comfort to her, but if I left tomorrow she wouldn't really care. I was replaceable. She never put up a fuss when I have had to leave her before. Although she is happy to see me, my "hellos" pale in comparison to the ones she gives to Daddy. There were even days when I would get home from work and she would grab my mom's leg and cry because I was home. Talk about rejection. It's been tough. For a while I felt like a servant.. feed me, clothe me, comfort me, get me what I want. All the while I keep waiting for something. Some little sign that I have have broken through and have entered her heart... that she didn't just want someone to be with her... but that she wanted ME to be with her.. that I have something that no one else has... that she has set me apart. I know it is selfish.. after all she has been though... focusing on my need to feel "special." I wonder how long it would take me to love again if everyone and everything I have ever loved and known was taken from me. She has done remarkably well, considering.

Honestly, what makes me even happiest is knowing that she feels confident and safe enough to let me in a little bit... to start to love me.