Oh, Hi Mommy... I sure love these play date thingies you have been setting up! Meanwhile.... Gianna has her eye on the chair.
Heeeey wait a minute! That's my chair!
You better move it sister!
Every queen needs a throne!
Friday, January 29
Eden's Favorite Toy
Let me show you around my new pad Gianna. Check out my cool new chair!
Oh, Hi Mommy... I sure love these play date thingies you have been setting up! Meanwhile.... Gianna has her eye on the chair.
Heeeey wait a minute! That's my chair!
You better move it sister!
Every queen needs a throne!
Oh, Hi Mommy... I sure love these play date thingies you have been setting up! Meanwhile.... Gianna has her eye on the chair.
Heeeey wait a minute! That's my chair!
You better move it sister!
Every queen needs a throne!
Wednesday, January 27
Monday, January 25
Our Social Butterfly
We have a pretty happy girl. She has her moments... but overall she is smiling and now will belly laugh. She is incredibly social and has a smile for everyone. I have been real careful that she is not "mommy shopping" because she seriously has to have everyone that she sees stop and smile at her. Sometimes this behavior happens with adopted children. Here are two stories from a wonderful website called A4everFamily.org
While every child is different, here is our experience. Our son came off the plane happy, smiling, and laughing. He was a beautiful and happy sixth-month-old. We planned on not letting anyone hold the baby until we felt he adjusted. Well, he looked very well-adjusted from the get-go. Everything made him happy and he took to everything so easily. Carseat, stroller, crib, new bottles, new formula, sleeping through the night…everything was so easy to introduce to him. What a happy, easy baby! And boy did he love people! It even said so in his pre-flight report. He seemed so happy and so willing to go to his grandparents, aunts, and uncles...a lot of people were waiting anxiously for this baby along with us. He seemed to adjust so well that we threw away the no holding policy and let close family members hold him earlier than we expected. He was not passed around nor held for long periods of time, but he was very loving and seemingly unaffected by the exposure to multiple family members.
As time went on our son distanced himself more and more from me, his mother, but still went happily to everyone else. I was his primary caretaker and doing a lot to promote bonding, but he avoided me more and more in ways that seemed innocent but didn't feel right to me. By the time he was home four months, he was not happy when I fed him, changed him, held him, gave him a bottle or anything that required me caring for him. By this time he completely ignored my existence and became a full-time mommy shopper. He learned lots of interesting tricks to get the attention of other women. This child would have willingly left with a complete stranger from the grocery store and never would have looked back. Meanwhile, everyone else continued to see a baby who was so easy and sweet and good and loving...I did not see that child because when it was just the two of us, he avoided me and pushed me away. It was very painful and I thought at first it had something to do with me not being a good mother...I know that is not the case now.
We had our son evaluated by an attachment therapist at ten months old. We learned that he was sensitive to the attachment process. Basically, he had the opinion of been there, done that...mommies are not trustworthy, mommies leave, I will pick my own mommy...I am safe when I control who takes care of me.
and this one...
A few months after my son came home, it was clear that he was waiting for his next mommy to come and take him away. He even began to do a lot of "mommy shopping" and would make cute noises for other women and reach out to strange and random women no matter where we were. During playdates he made it his mission to sit in another mother's lap and not mine. To the rest of the world he looked very social, happy, and personable. Our friends and family were thrilled, each thinking they had a special relationship with our son, but little did they know he would have just as happily gone to a complete stranger. Allowing this behavior to continue was allowing my son to continue to avoid me, his forever mommy, reinforcing that mommies are replaceable. I needed to prove otherwise.
We have been careful not to have people hold her, feed her, change her and she seems to show signs of good attachment so far. It is just something to look out for. Even when things seem to be going so very well... you still need to be careful.
Thursday, January 21
Two Weeks
It's been two weeks since we arrived home. Yesterday was the first day that we had no tears! Notta one!!!! She didn't cry through her diaper changes. She didn't cry when we changed her clothes. She didn't even whimper when I put her down to sleep.She didn't even cry during her bath! In fact... she not only sat in the sink... but she laughed and played and smiled! What a sweet little girl. I am telling you... she is amazing. As I rocked her to sleep last night she lay there so relaxed in my arms. Instead of having one hand clenched onto my shirt, both arms lay down limp. She would open her eyes and just stare at my face then slowly close them. When I stood up, instead of instantly waking and clinging onto me... she stayed relaxed and spread her little arms out when I put her in her crib like she was content and comfortable.
I am at work today and will be at work tomorrow too. I am off again next week though. Ron is home with her both days and I will be going home at lunch to see her. I miss her so much it's crazy. When I have to return to work full time it is totally going to stink. I am already counting down the days till summer vacation!!!!
This is the day we received Eden. We are just leaving SWS.
I am at work today and will be at work tomorrow too. I am off again next week though. Ron is home with her both days and I will be going home at lunch to see her. I miss her so much it's crazy. When I have to return to work full time it is totally going to stink. I am already counting down the days till summer vacation!!!!
This is the day we received Eden. We are just leaving SWS.
Monday, January 18
More Progress
Friday we met with our social worker for our first of three post placement visits. Everything went really well. I really like our social worker. She agreed that Eden is adjusting great so far and had some suggestions on other ideas to help her. We meet again in February.
Sunday we took Eden to church for the first time. She was so great! She sat with us and didn't make a fuss. I couldn't believe that she as actually there with us. So many times I would be sitting in church praying for her, praying for the strength to get through the wait.
Eden continues to do well with attachment and bonding. It is defiantly a process. One area will seem to improve while another I feel like we are moving backwards. For example on Monday she was super clingy. She wouldn't play or let me out of her sight. She only wanted to be held and would cry if I set her down. However, that night she took a bath without screaming!!!! This is a first! I have to credit Luca because he sang to her and kept her attention through the whole thing. She wasn't actually sitting in the water I was holding her at the edge of the sink and was pouring water on her... but each time I tried this before she would freak out. Progress!!! Also, yesterday she would not go down for a nap in her crib but went down without crying at bedtime... another first. So it's kind of like two steps forward one step back. Overall though she is doing great. She no longer cries during diaper changes and usually doesn't cry when we change her clothes. She will lay on her back without screaming. She will also play on her own while I fold laundry or do a short task. Tonight is bath night for her so we will see how it goes. I will be sure to have Luca there to sing, "Hush little Sei-in don't say a word... Luca's gonna buy you a mocking bird" which is so adorable.
Sunday we took Eden to church for the first time. She was so great! She sat with us and didn't make a fuss. I couldn't believe that she as actually there with us. So many times I would be sitting in church praying for her, praying for the strength to get through the wait.
Eden continues to do well with attachment and bonding. It is defiantly a process. One area will seem to improve while another I feel like we are moving backwards. For example on Monday she was super clingy. She wouldn't play or let me out of her sight. She only wanted to be held and would cry if I set her down. However, that night she took a bath without screaming!!!! This is a first! I have to credit Luca because he sang to her and kept her attention through the whole thing. She wasn't actually sitting in the water I was holding her at the edge of the sink and was pouring water on her... but each time I tried this before she would freak out. Progress!!! Also, yesterday she would not go down for a nap in her crib but went down without crying at bedtime... another first. So it's kind of like two steps forward one step back. Overall though she is doing great. She no longer cries during diaper changes and usually doesn't cry when we change her clothes. She will lay on her back without screaming. She will also play on her own while I fold laundry or do a short task. Tonight is bath night for her so we will see how it goes. I will be sure to have Luca there to sing, "Hush little Sei-in don't say a word... Luca's gonna buy you a mocking bird" which is so adorable.
Thursday, January 14
Home One Week
We have been home one week already! Time is flying by. We are starting to find our groove. I'm not going to lie... it hasn't been easy. The hardest part is that my hands are never free. She needs to be with me at every moment. I have been wearing my Ergo carrier and today tried it so that she rides on my back. That was great because I was home alone with Luca and needed to help him get ready for bed and do our night time routine. She ended up falling asleep while riding on my back. :) I even hold her when I have to go to the bathroom... unless I want to hear her scream bloody murder. Our nights have been wonderful though. She is sleeping through the night in her crib. Last night she slept 13 hours. She will go down without too much fuss too which is nice. She has a sound machine in her room which has helped a lot because she really is a light sleeper (just like her foster mom said.)
She is such a joy. She smiles all the time.. it's crazy! She is a great eater and has liked everything except green beans... but I don't blame her! She loves to feed herself but only has two little bottom teeth so for now she is only feeding herself some poofs and these potato sticks we got in Korea. She pulls her hair when she is tired and she will say, "OOOOOoooooo" when she sees something she likes. She will mimic "mamamama" and "dadada" but I don't think she knows what they mean just yet. She is pulling up on furniture and will walk across the room holding on to her stroller walker toy. She is going to be walking in no time. She still HATES her baths with a passion. She actually hurts my ears when she screams. It is so high pitch and with so much force at first I thought I had burned her with the water or something. She is okay with getting her hands and feet wet but that is about it. I take her out of the sink and wrap her in a towel and then hold her over the sink to wash her hair. She actually kind of likes this and tonight she started to fall asleep while I was doing it. She is getting better with changing her diaper but still does not like for me to change her clothes. She is also better with her high chair, car seat, and didn't mind her stroller at all. She seems to enjoy going to the bus stop and I think she is starting to recognize the bus because she gets excited when she sees it.
Adrian is in total love with this little girl. Everyday off the bus his smile is stretched across his whole face as he runs to the car. He is so proud of her too always asking me to roll the window down so that he can show his sister off to his friends. He is really good with her too. Tonight he fed her a bottle and never complains when I need his help with her. I love the way he talks to her and the way he is always looking out for her. Tonight I was throwing her up in the air (not far.. like inches) and catching her and he didn't like that at all. He told me I don't catch very well and I might drop her.
Luca seems to like his sister so far. He will kiss her and seems to get a kick out of the fact that she gets a kick out of him. He is only 5 so he is not really into playing much with her. He had a bit of a rough adjustment with the whole thing but is getting better. He was seeking out attention of all kinds and was emotional the first few days we were home. So far though, all this change has not caused him to focus any negativity on Eden... which is really good.
We have had lots of visitors, emails, phone calls, etc. Everyone is so excited and has been so wonderful.
It still doesn't seem real that she is actually here. I can't believe that she is upstairs right now! So many years waiting and dreaming and waiting... and now she is here. I can't imagine any other little girl being my daughter. She is perfect. Ron and I just can't believe how lucky we are. It's as if we won the jackpot! I have loved her from before she breathed her first breath... the idea of her. Now I am falling in love with the little person that she is. This wonderful, beautiful little person.
She is such a joy. She smiles all the time.. it's crazy! She is a great eater and has liked everything except green beans... but I don't blame her! She loves to feed herself but only has two little bottom teeth so for now she is only feeding herself some poofs and these potato sticks we got in Korea. She pulls her hair when she is tired and she will say, "OOOOOoooooo" when she sees something she likes. She will mimic "mamamama" and "dadada" but I don't think she knows what they mean just yet. She is pulling up on furniture and will walk across the room holding on to her stroller walker toy. She is going to be walking in no time. She still HATES her baths with a passion. She actually hurts my ears when she screams. It is so high pitch and with so much force at first I thought I had burned her with the water or something. She is okay with getting her hands and feet wet but that is about it. I take her out of the sink and wrap her in a towel and then hold her over the sink to wash her hair. She actually kind of likes this and tonight she started to fall asleep while I was doing it. She is getting better with changing her diaper but still does not like for me to change her clothes. She is also better with her high chair, car seat, and didn't mind her stroller at all. She seems to enjoy going to the bus stop and I think she is starting to recognize the bus because she gets excited when she sees it.
Adrian is in total love with this little girl. Everyday off the bus his smile is stretched across his whole face as he runs to the car. He is so proud of her too always asking me to roll the window down so that he can show his sister off to his friends. He is really good with her too. Tonight he fed her a bottle and never complains when I need his help with her. I love the way he talks to her and the way he is always looking out for her. Tonight I was throwing her up in the air (not far.. like inches) and catching her and he didn't like that at all. He told me I don't catch very well and I might drop her.
Luca seems to like his sister so far. He will kiss her and seems to get a kick out of the fact that she gets a kick out of him. He is only 5 so he is not really into playing much with her. He had a bit of a rough adjustment with the whole thing but is getting better. He was seeking out attention of all kinds and was emotional the first few days we were home. So far though, all this change has not caused him to focus any negativity on Eden... which is really good.
We have had lots of visitors, emails, phone calls, etc. Everyone is so excited and has been so wonderful.
It still doesn't seem real that she is actually here. I can't believe that she is upstairs right now! So many years waiting and dreaming and waiting... and now she is here. I can't imagine any other little girl being my daughter. She is perfect. Ron and I just can't believe how lucky we are. It's as if we won the jackpot! I have loved her from before she breathed her first breath... the idea of her. Now I am falling in love with the little person that she is. This wonderful, beautiful little person.
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