Eden's Dedication

This past Sunday we had Eden dedicated at our church. I am so glad that we were all well enough to go! The service was very nice... especially the dedication part. We celebrated at a local restaurant with family after the ceremony. While on stage Eden put on a show... taking off and throwing on the floor both shoes and her headband. She also kept waving to the drummer on stage and tried to squirm out of my hands the entire time! My arms were sore when the service was over! She did a great job and looked so BEAUTIFUL. Her beauty amazes me.

We celebrated at a restaurant after the service.








Tried to get a family photo but she wasn't havin' it!!!

Eden Update and Flashback Friday

In addition to the fungal cream we are also using a steroid to help Eden's diaper rash heal. It is like a miracle! The rash is practically gone!!!! She is also feeling a lot better but still not 100%. She still has a runny nose and a cough but the doctor said her lungs sounded good.

Ron and I are also feeling better too. :0)


Flashback Friday....


2004 Adrian 5 years, Luca 7 months
Now I know why my mom would cry whenever we watched old family movies. My sweet little babies....

Eden

Eden is doing much better as far as the RSV goes. She no longer has a fever and is breathing easier. However, he rash is still pretty bad. I don't really get it. My boys have had some pretty bad rashes but with Triple Paste cream they cleared up fairly quickly. Her rash is just not going away. It seemed to improve some with the anti-fungal cream but in the last day or so it has gotten worse. It is now just an open sore and she screams when she is changed because she is in so much pain. We have been doing everything we have been told... airing out, various creams, changing often, washing... I even bought organic diapers. I just wish this rash would clear up. I can't stand to hear her crying and in pain. We have another appointment this afternoon with the doctor.

Oh, and Ron and I are now both sick too. Fun Stuff.

Oh brother.

Our Eden has RSV. She is on breathing treatments and will see the doctor again tomorrow. She is MISERABLE. Our smiley girl is either crying or whimpering all day long. She is not eating and will only drink about 1/2 her bottle. Yesterday to help clear some of the junk out of her head I took her in the shower with me. Usually she screams bloody murder... this time she didn't cry but fell asleep in my arms. She keeps hitting herself in the face I think because she is congested and is frustrated. Coughing, runny nose, temp.... pray my little glazed doughnut gets better soon!

No Time!

No time for posting. Eden is sick with a cold and wants to be held constantly. She also has a horrible diaper rash. Took her to the doctor today and he said the rash was fungal. Eeeewwwwww. We have some cream for it and hopefully it will clear up soon. He said it was common.

I know soooo many people who are sick right now. How many more days till summer???

Here are a couple of pics just because!

One Month Home!

Today we celebrate Family Day! One month ago we walked through our front door and became a family of five. What a crazy, exhausting, emotional, amazing day that was!

We hired a photographer to capture our arrival at the airport. Mother Nature... who in Korea delayed us from meeting Eden by a day because of a huge snow storm... once again threw a wrench in our plans and prevented our family from going to the airport. The roads were just too dangerous for them to make the drive. However, our photographer braved the roads and was there to capture our arrival. She then went to our home where our family was waiting for us.

Detroit Metro Airport


We exited customs and saw our photographer waiting for us in baggage claim.


Ron went to get the bags and we played a little while we waited.







We then left the airport and Eden took her first ride in a car seat. The smiles didn't last long though. She didn't really like it.




Thirty one hours after waking up to start our trip home we finally pulled into our drive. We could hear our family cheering from inside as soon as we got out of the car.




Finally Home!



She walked in the door with a smile on her face.



Her sweet smile brought a tear to my eye.After every she had been through and after such a loooong trip home... I just couldn't believe she was smiling! I just love this sweet girl.


Adrian came up to meet his new sister.


One smile and we all fell in love.





Next, Luca came to say hello...




... and we became a family of five!


Adrian really wanted to hold her but she wasn't quite ready!



Luca had her laughing with his disappearing thumb trick.


Shortly after we went to bed and Eden and I slept for 15 hours straight!

This was such a happy day! One that I will never forget!

Losing Korea

Things are feeling different. I am not surprised each day to find that our daughter is finally home. It doesn't seem weird to see her playing happily in our family room. It's starting to feel like she has always been here.

As time passes... as we start to feel and live our new normal.. I feel like Korea is slipping away. Maybe it's because our trip isn't so fresh in my mind as when we first came home. Maybe it's because we no longer have or are using as many Korean items which were in some way a comfort to me... like we still had pieces of Korea with us. The little reminders of Korea aren't there each time I make a bottle... our Korean baby formula is long gone. I have just a couple of Korean diapers left, the toys that Eden brought from her home in Korea now sit at the bottom of the toy box when they used to be her favorites, no more Korean bottles or pacifiers, and even with the extras we bought her favorite Korean snacks are just about gone. Although I think about Eden's foster mother each and every day... the guilt and wondering of how she is doing don't occupy my thoughts as they did when we first came home.

I wonder if the same thing is happening with Eden. It must be.... and it makes me sad. I don't want to forget and I don't want her to forget Korea. Sure we will visit Korean restaurants, celebrate with a traditional Korean first birthday party, watch movies of our trip, and do what we can to incorporate some Korean culture into our family.... but it is sooo not the same. It's like a really watered down American version of Korea... not real. I am forever connected to this place... this beautiful place that stole my heart. I miss Korea and if I miss it after only being there less than a week... I know that she misses it a whole lot.

Our trip to Korea put into such perspective the loss that is involved with international adoption. To experience only a fraction of it as a parent is so powerful. The loss is raw. It is felt throughout your whole body... each of your senses, your heart.

All of this may explain why I am having such a hard time calling Eden... "Eden." We have been using her Korean name, Sei-in, since meeting her in Korea. At first it felt strange to call her Sei-in because for so long she was "Eden" in my heart and mind. We used her Korean name because she recognized it. Now, after a month, I have a hard time calling her anything else. Some of it is just habit but some of it has much more to do with not wanting to lose what's left of her life before coming to the US. I feel as though so much has been taken from her. Really... what's left? Her name... it's like the last piece. Each time I say it... it's a comfort, a reminder, a little nod to the life and people she had before. Her birth father gave her that name and everyone who has loved her and cared for her has called her by that name... who am I to take it away? So... it's hard for me. I didn't expect to feel this way. I wanted to give her an American name. I had read that many adopted children prefer American names because they already feel "different" and having a foreign name draws even more attention to that fact. I love the name Eden and have known for years that if I were blessed with a daughter I would use it. Now I just don't know what to do. Will she regret that we changed her name? Will she see this as just one more loss? When she learns that her birth father named her, will she feel that the one connection to her birth family was taken from her?

I feel so pressured right now to make a decision on one name or the other before she gets much older.

I am struggling with this.
Any thoughts?

10 Months Old

Our little sweetie is ten months old. Double digits. Although it has only been one month (to the day) that we first met I already see that she has grown and changed. She actually looks different to me... her hair a little longer, chubbier. She is quickly growing out of her 6 - 12 month clothes. She loves to eat! Her favorites are yogurt, sweet potatoes, and those puffs. She is pulling up on everything and can stand unassisted for a few seconds. She has not taken a step yet though. She can crawl up my stairs in no time which she couldn't do when we first arrived home. She says, "Mama" and knows what it means. She will call out for me. She also will wave "hi" and "bye bye" when asked. She loves to mimic with different sounds. She hasn't gotten any more teeth but the two she came home with seem larger. She seems to be a hockey fan. She will sit and watch the game or the people in the stands without fuss. She still loves Luca and he can get her to stop crying when no one else can.

She is a joy! The past month has gone by so quickly. Things are finally settling and our new normal feels well, normal.

I will post more about her attachment along with some pictures this weekend.