When I was a little girl, if you would have asked me how many children I would have one day, I would have said five. I most likely would have told you that I was going to adopt a Chinese baby too. No joke. Not sure exactly where that came from. Honestly, part of it came from my fear of childbirth... and probably because I have always thought that Asian people are so beautiful. I remember wishing I had Asian hair and Asian eyes.
Things sort of worked out the way my ten year old mind envisioned. Instead of "Chinese" we have a Korean born daughter. Instead of five kids... we have three. Three is a lot. No doubt about it. I can't imagine having five... or four. Not while working anyway. I know people do it, but I know that for me personally I can't take on one. more. thing.
But then... I see a face. A face of a child waiting for a family.
...and then I wonder... does my heart, my home, my leave from work, my schedule, my wallet, my children, my piece of mind, my husband... have room for one more? A mixed bag. Some resounding YES's and some HUGE no's.
It's hard to be in the adoption arena and know what I know and see what I see and not feel like... I should be doing more. Scratch that... I WANT to do more.
You see that face and you think...
I want to love you. I want to hold you. I want to show you and teach you and be there for you. I want to tuck you in at night. I want you to know the love of a family.
Some faces haunt me and I will have to check over and over again to see if anyone has stepped forward to adopt them. Many of the children on these lists have special needs. Some are severe but many are not. Some are on lists because of age alone.
This child has been waiting on the Rainbowkids site for a year.
These two cute guys are likely still waiting because they are boys, over the age of 2, and have some malformations of their fingers and/or toes. I have had students who have had missing fingers and never once did it stop them from doing anything. This is such a minor need. Yet they wait.
... and there is this sweet girl
Although I have not read her full file... her "special need" is so minor. It doesn't appear that she will need future surgeries or therapies or medication. Her age is likely the reason why she is still waiting. I just want to reach out and cup that sweet face in my hands.
There are hundreds and hundreds more children on these lists... from all different countries... all deserving of a family.
I know that there will always be "that face" that calls to me. Even if I adopted 100 kids... I know that my heart would always want do adopt more. For now, I need to focus on the three little faces that greet me each morning. I need to love them, teach them, tuck them in to bed at night... and I am blessed beyond measure. So, I will do what little I can for these waiting children... advocate for them, pray for them, and encourage families out there to learn more.
If you are interested in learning more about these waiting children the following website has many links to photo listings. But be forewarned... you may see the face of a child that will steal your heart.